Building a lolita wardrobe from thrifted clothes

At first glance, lolita fashion can seem like something impossible to pull off with only locally-bought* clothes, especially if there you aren't part of a lolita comm. However, after enough hoarding I'm able to put together coordinates that are almost entirely thrifted (with the exception of my petticoat and bloomers, which were bought new from Malco Modes and American Apparel, respectively, and my socks and tights.) In addition to being suitable for lolita, these clothes also accomodate my preference for appearing flat-chested (which is not at all related to lolita, by the way--I just don't like my chest. And I've been able to make that work largely because I'm small enough to fit into childrens' clothes, so if you're bigger than that a lot of what has worked for me probably won't work for you -__-;.)

Skirts are somewhat few and far between, but they're out there, especially if you're looking for A-line skirts. Black square dance skirts like the one pictured to the right can also work well. The same applies to dresses, although finding a dress with a decent neckline can be difficult. Loliable skirts are much easier to find, especially in my case since I prefer to appear flat-chested, which doesn't work so well when you've got a garment that's made for people with noticeable breasts.

Blouses are a bit easier to find when you don't have my above-mentioned problem with darts (I've heard of flat-chested people just wearing things tailored for people with curves and boobs, but even if it's just a tiny extra flap of fabric I will notice it and it will bug me.) I've found two things to look for in blouses to accomodate this. 

The first only works if you also happen to be some degree of tiny--I check the children's section for cutesy blouses and jumpers, which sometimes fit me and are usually made with the assumption that the target wearers do not have sizeable (if any) breasts. The same also applies to the smallest sizes in adult clothes (like the grey blouse on the left)--some manufacturers apparently assume XS = no curves, and so there are no darts to create the annoying fabric flaps that annoy me so much (I'm sure this practice annoys the hell out of curvier tiny people, though -__-).

The other option (which I'm guessing could work well for larger people) is blouses that have fabric gathered in the shoulders (top right) or at the chest (bottom right). 

Most of the blouses I've found do not look all that good by themselves--they need to be tucked in at minimum, and preferably also be covered up by a vest, blazer (like in the first photo), or jumperskirt. I look for nice, high collars and sleeves with a slight poof to them in particular. Sometimes you can make regular dress shirts work if they have stripes or some other interesting/loliable feature (like the shirt in the first picture.) A blazer will be the easiest thing you can find to accomplish this, although it also hides any poof at the shoulders (or lack thereof, which can be a good thing). I have yet to find a nice vest without darts in the chest (though if I ever do find one I'm sure it will come from the boys' section), and you're also unlikely to find anything that can be worn as a jumperskirt without darts in it (if you did, it would probably be in the girls' section.)

Shoes are one of the easiest things to find if you can make chunky black heels, black knee boots, and mary janes work. Shoes in colors besides black (or maybe white or red, if you're lucky) and platform shoes (especially in any color but black) can be difficult.

Accessories like jewelry, scarves, gloves and hats (if you're willing to check vintage stores and are okay with more of a classic/50s vibe) are probably the easiest thing you can find. I always check the jewelry section at thrift stores. This can also be a good fall-back if you can't dress in full lolita but still want to incorporate something cute or elegant into your outfits.

Outerwear in the form of coats and sometimes blazers (if that's your thing--I love my black velvet blazer to pieces) is also easier to find, especially in black. Just be careful that it doesn't look too plain (look for unusual/luxurious fabric or cute details) and it won't squish your skirt (or look awkward with it). I'm picky about this because of the dart problem, but I think those tend to be less noticeable in coats, and sometimes you find something that doesn't have them, too.

As I wrote this, I was reminded that gothic lolita is probably the easiest substyle to thrift because of how popular and flexible black things are (and you can get a spooky vibe from accessories alone as long as your garments don't distract from them), followed by classic lolita (especially if you check vintage stores and are okay with wearing outfits that use black as a main color). Sweet lolita is probably a bit harder (white with pink accents and tons of accessories might be the easiest way to go about it. Pastel secretary blouses from the '80s can probably work okay for this, but watch out for the fabric quality.)

There's also a slim chance that you will find garments actually intended for lolita (this happened to me once with an In the Starlight skirt, and I've heard of at least one lolita bringing offbrand or indie garments that won't resell for much to thrift stores.) Halloween can be one of the best times of the year to look because a lot of thrift stores will pull out all the clothes that they think would otherwise be too weird to sell and stick them in the costume section even if they weren't originally intended as costume pieces (this is how I found that In the Starlight skirt.)

If you have any tricks or experiences with building lolita coords from thrift store goods, I'd love to hear about them in the comments =].

*And by locally I mean within the United States. Specifically, the midwest.

Morbid Curiousity

"'I want to see true form of the world, with my very own eyes―'

Shion bit his lip. No, he almost said out loud. It didn't feel right. It wasn't that he had lied... But he had decorated his words. Regret and resignation about the past weren't the only things that lay behind the reason for his wanting to know the truth.

Curiosity. No, it wasn't such a casual feeling; it was a deep-rooted desire. It roved in circles deep inside his chest. It was intrigue towards a world his imagination could not render. Interest in the unknown."

--Atsuko Asano (No. 6 vol. 6 p. 37)

Shion's morbid curiosity comes up fairly often throughout No. 6, but this seems to be the scene where he's most conscious of it (the quote, not the screencap). It's nice to see it elaborated on in the novels because I think I know the feeling, and it pervades my sense of humor as well as my interest. In fact, his intense interest in what his imagination cannot "render" seems like something that's probably pretty common among people as privileged as him. Since many stories that deal with poverty and oppression as closely as No. 6 seem to cater to this curiousity without examining it, Shion's insight in this scene (and Rat's reactions to Shion's curiousity throughout the series) is particularly refreshing.

When I say "morbid", I almost always mean it self-deprecatingly--I don't think my interest in things like decay and the dead that distress people (especially once they actually have to deal with it in their own life--I've never had to look at the wreckage of a building I used to use or lost anyone I was particularly attached to) are actually detrimental to my health or anyone else's. But I feel the need to call myself "morbid" or "warped" out of a sense of propriety--to acknowledge that other people find the things that amuse or interest me distressing, often for good reason.

Sometimes my curiousity is fueled by a sense of obligation to know about things--especially things that may have happened far away from me but that my actions could be affected by, such as slaughterhouses and working conditions in overseas manufacturing plants, or even things like the holocaust ("never again" and all that--not that I have much faith in my ability to make a difference, and to be frank whenever I think of what I've heard about conditions in North Korean prison camps this sentiment rings a bit false to me even though the situation in North Korea isn't the same as the situation with Germany in the '30s and '40s. At any rate, I'm not entirely sure how much actual resistance I'd put up in a situation like this. My first instinct is basically "run away".)

But other times I tend to romanticize things in a way that feels pretty inappropriate in the face of the pain other people have gone through because of poverty or death or mental/emotional instability. Part of the appeal probably comes from the freedom from wage slavery that homelessness (or even prostitution, though that's not something I'd choose at this point even if I wouldn't fault other people for doing so) comes with. There's a sense of adventure to it as well (dunno if I'd still get that sense after actually experiencing it, though--I'm sure most homeless people don't.)

Romanticizing things also seems to help me avoid being afraid of them, and although fear can be a useful instinct, I have no use for it myself--I feel that anything that could genuinely hurt me is something I have no control over, so there's no point clouding my thoughts with fear of it. And most things that actually make me afraid are things that I'm better off being able to clearly think through. So I cover myself in raggedy, spooky clothes and gawk at dying buildings and write stories about people lost in grief and insecurity. And it makes me more content than I would be otherwise.

In No. 6, Shion mostly takes the reality Rat shows him pretty well. Sure, he stumbles from time to time, but he survives and manages to stay "human" (with some blips--haven't quite finished the novels as of this post, but I'm guessing something similar to what happens in episode 10 of the anime happens at some point). I can't help but wonder how I would compare if I were to choose homelessness in this world. I wouldn't have a guide like Shion, but I can see more of that world from my current privileged position than Shion could and make a more informed choice than he did. And there's much more overlap between the two worlds in my situation. But even so.

Multi-Purpose Cosplay

When I cosplay, one thing that influences which characters I pick is what they wear and whether I can incorporate parts of it into my regular wardrobe, saving me both money and space. That might make it seem like it would make the cosplays less special, but I find that only wearing one piece at a time plus the fact that I always wear a wig and make-up in cosplay and rarely do so otherwise makes this work pretty well for me. Here's how I look at the various components of a given cosplay in more detail:

Shoes

Minor detail, right? Some people just wear their sneakers with cosplay, depending on the character. Actually, the feet are a detail that can be easy to overlook or ignore when you're watching or reading something (how often are their feet even included in the picture?), and for some characters as long as you have some sort of black shoe that goes with the rest of their outfit it doesn't matter if it's spot-on (my shoes from high school marching band have come in handy for these characters.) Even if you do pay attention to the subtler details, it's not hard to find characters who wear such basic shoes that you might already own a pair that works. But if you do pick a character with unusual shoes, it helps when you really like the shoes. I ordered these platform boots to cosplay Misa from Death Note, but they became a wardrobe staple for me for years afterward (now that the zipper on one of them has broken a second time, I'll be getting rid of them since replacing it would cost almost as much as the shoes themselves -__-). And I only cosplayed Misa for one convention before getting sick of her.

Garments, Wigs, Hats

I'm including them all in one category because whether it's outerwear, pants, or anything else, how well it fits with what I usually wear is an equally weighty factor. Part of the reason I'm cosplaying Mello from Death Note right now is because of his pants and vest (I plan on wearing the pants often, but I just made them so I haven't worn them outside a con yet. I also made an outfit for Pride with the vest once--it works well with a skirt.) I also still have the blue shirt from my Misa cosplay and am planning to cover it in patches at some point. Part of why I'm considering Rat from No. 6 even though I haven't finished Mello yet (still planning on making his jacket from when he retrieved his photo from Near) and I've been wanting to cosplay Badou from Dogs: Bullets and Carnage for awhile is Rat's black motorcycle jacket, which doesn't necessarily fill a gap in my wardrobe but is pretty versatile and would fit in well (unlike Badou's overalls or green coat.)

The other consideration is similar, but it's focused on using what you have instead of carefully acquiring new garments. I already had a black tank top and miniskirt when I cosplayed Misa, and I have a pair of workboots that would probably work for Rat (although I need to find a reference and double-check.) The wig I use for Mello was originally my Misa wig, and between those two I also used it in my attempt at Edward Elric.

Jewelry

I don't have the equipment or skill to make decent jewelry and some of the attempts I've seen at making small metal things out of foam or clay or other non-metal materials kind of bug me (nothing against people who do that, though--just a personal preference for my own cosplays), so I prefer to avoid characters with unique jewelry (unless their series is popular enough for there to be replicas up for sale) and go for characters that wear things that I could conceivably find/would wear. I only got to half of that with Mello--I think his crucifixes are really tacky, especially the rosary as a necklace--it's pretty, but at the same time that's not what it's for and I wasn't even raised Catholic, so I feel awkward wearing an actual rosary even though I do it for Mello. But (aside from the money clip), everything was pretty easy to find (the belt buckle was a bit of a challenge, though.)

Props

Not really a wardrobe piece, but the same principles still apply. Part of what I like about Mello is using chocolate as my prop since it gives me something to eat throughout the day as well (and when you like dark chocolate as much as me you can get the super dark kind that apparently fills 30 percent of the RDA for iron 8D.) I also kind of want to get a skull like he's holding in one picture because I totally wouldn't mind having one of those sitting around my room all the time.

LEARN ALL THE WORDS D8

Or don't.

(Context: This train of thought was brought about by a talk about how intimidating and confusing the queer lexicon is given at a panel on personhood and identity by a straight cisgender woman whose name escapes me and who very likely has no idea this post exists so I guess it doesn't matter all that much.)

I've heard (at least presumably straight/cisgender in the instances where they don't disclose their gender identity and sexual orientation) people express frustration and confusion about the vast queer lexicon that's been building up at a more rapid pace than ever over the past couple decades enough times to make me want to actually process my reaction to their frustration in writing, so here goes. It doesn't matter if the queer lexicon intimidates straight/cisgender people because the lexicon is a tool for queer people to figure out who they are. We understand ourselves and our world in words, and when there are no words for something that is an essential part of yourself, it can be extremely disorienting and result in feelings of living as someone you're not, not belonging, or in my case confusion regarding other people's identities (as a child I warped my internal definition of what the gender binary was to make it fit myself because I didn't know nonbinary genders were possibilities, which meant I was misunderstanding something relatively small but nonetheless important about the people around me until I was sixteen or so.)

However, the feeling of being intimidated is still a good sign because it shows that the people who feel intimidated care about the queer people in their lives enough to want to understand them (as mentioned by another panelist at the above-mentioned panel.) Because words are normally consciously used for communicating to other people and you don't notice their value in your own thought processes until you find some crucial word you've has been missing to describe yourself for your entire life up to that point and you realize that you're not just "weird" or bad at being straight/male or female, it's easy to develop the misconception that you're expected to know all these words (and probably easy for people who've just found their miracle word to expect that everyone else will learn it, too.) But I think giving enough of a shit to look up a word (or, for the more courageous, ask) is enough. It shows that you care about us as people enough to want to know about our sexual orientations, which is all that really matters for people you aren't sexually or romantically attracted to. The same can be said for gender--while it's nice when people understand what I mean by "nonbinary" or "gender neutral" (and kind of annoying when they seem completely unable to wrap their heads around it, if I'm being totally honest--it's really pretty simple, at least in my case), as long as you don't use the wrong pronouns, you've done what you need to do to convince me that you care about who I am. (And yes, I do mean NOT using the WRONG set of pronouns--I obviously can't speak for all trans people here, but although I prefer singular "they," as long as you avoid "she/her" and "it," I'll probably be okay with whatever other pronoun set you come up with, including "he/him/his" since it wasn't used in a way that hindered my understanding of myself when I was a kid like "she/her" and it's not used as a dehumanizing insult like "it." I don't believe I'm the only one who feels this way about pronouns.)

When prompted to talk about consent, the panelist brought up the lack of consent to the queer lexicon on the part of straight, cisgender people. To me, that indicated a crucial lack of understanding of the importance of the queer lexicon. We don't need consent from straight people to develop ways to talk about ourselves, especially considering that we only need a lexicon because the very things we're defining are things that we've been oppressed and alienated for by the heteronormative society we all live in. If that had never been a problem, then these aspects of our identity wouldn't need to be defined to such a specific degree because they wouldn't be significant enough to cause us so much angst in the first place. The lexicon is made to counteract an aspect of the violence perpetrated against people by heteronormative society--it gives us power to understand ourselves objectively instead of by how we measure up to a narrow idea of "normal."* Privilege by nature makes this an unlikely insight for most straight, cisgender people to come up with by themselves, so it's understandable that they feel intimidated even as they care about their queer friends and family. But the sooner they recognize the lexicon's real purpose, the closer we will be to a society where no one needs to learn all these words because the things these words are defining will no longer incite so much violence and angst, and we will be able to accept the existance of all genders (or lack** thereof in some people's cases) without batting an eye and see less common sexual orientations as mere tendencies and preferences instead of the world-shaking, identity-influencing social factors they are today.

*(And I was sooooo glad that another panelist brought that up because I couldn't think of a way to put that into a question o__o;.)

**Ugh. I can't find a word for this with a neutral connotation. More linguistic limits to beat back, I guess.