Refining

I've been chipping away recently, particularly at my accumulated material possessions. It's been getting easier to let go the more I do it. As of late, sometimes I feel myself feeling unattached to things before I'm even completely comfortable with loosing my attachment to them. The biggest example being my pony collection--I still think the G1s are super cute, it's just I hardly even notice that the ones I still have out are there any more. Part of me wants to just keep babies Moondancer and Glory (because they're the cutest <3) and sell the rest (including my first several that I got when the obsession was new, which I was super attached to because for awhile they were the only ones I had.) Even when I think I'm done, I find I'm not--just a week or two ago I dropped a couple grocery bags of stuff of at the local thrift store and I've still got another two or so bags worth of stuff part of me has let go of (which, as mentioned before, the overly-cautious part of me is still hesitating to accept.)

Part of this is a practicality, or even a necessity. I have very little income since my classes are my top priority right now (and after that comes fun domestic stuff like cooking and sewing.) So if I want to do things that cost money, I have to sell stuff, which seems totally reasonable to me. If anything, I'm pleased that I had the taste I did when I was a teenager because the stuff I accumulated and enjoyed then more than I do now is stuff that other people still actually want. Some of the Christmas presents I got so excited about when I first got them have turned out to be two gifts in one because of this. Furthermore, when I move out I will very likely not have room for a lot of the stuff I have now, let alone all the stuff I've gotten rid of so far.

I've been chipping away at my wardrobe, too. As I start to get a taste of some of the styles I used to lust after, I realize it seems to take a lot less to satisfy myself than what I expected. I'm refining it down to just my favorite pieces, and it feels great.

It's not just material things that I'm chipping away at, though. I've been working on unlearning the cultural bullshit I absorbed as a child just by being born into this monstrous society and trying to figure how best to react to the world around me. Not that I don't have tons more unlearning and learning to do, but I feel like I understand my surroundings better than I did even a few years ago. I'm refining my priorities, and the material purging is part of that. Here's hoping I won't get so bogged down again (although I'm sure I will, given how much life I expect I have left to live.)

Adjustments I

I'm making an effort to customize the things I have around that have potential (and yet don't tend to get worn much) instead of replacing them with something better. Here's what I've been working on so far:

Acrylic Cardigan

This used to have shiny off-white buttons that looked like they were made of shell or something like that (although I doubt they actually were.) Whatever they were made of, they matched my Tokio Hotel t-shirt pretty well but looked weird with everything else. No longer. I've replaced them with cute white buttons in alternating star and heart shapes (as well as widened some of the button holes to accomodate the star buttons, which were just a hair too big to fit through the holes as they originally were.)

Black Thermal

The original buttons on this shirt were actually pretty awesome and brassy-looking. Vaguely steampunk, I guess. Trouble is they looked odd with the silver in my pyramid-stud belt. There really isn't room for any warm metallic stuff in my wardrobe, actually. So I replaced the buttons with plainer black buttons, putting this shirt on track to become one of my favorites because of how awesomely it fits me.

Inspiration: Elisabeth das Musical

I don't normally write about musicals on here, so for now I won't obsess much about how fascinating and convincing and generally brilliant I find the personification of death (der Tod in German) in the musical Elisabeth. However, the costumes alone are dazzling and close enough to my usual taste in clothes to be worth a post on their own 8D.

For starters, der Tod always wears [nearly] monochromatic outfits. I think my favorite is the black outfit Uwe Kröger wore in the 1992 production...

I also like the neatness in some of the more recent costumes (for example, the ones worn by Oliver Arno.)

Der Tod's costumes are usually fairly simple (even the outfit with the elegant frock coat has what appears to be a simple mock turtleneck under it) but not without making an impact. The make-up and jewelry worn by some versions (not to mention Uwe Kröger's hair in the original production =D) add a sense of androgyny that I also enjoy and find highly appropriate for the character.

The idea of the inevitability and necesity of death as a theme is also very appealing, and I find the way der Tod in Elisabeth is presented as something as familiar as another human to be a highly effective (although subtle) way of expressing that. I find it preferable to accept and embrace one's mortality rather than fear it (and by "embrace" I do NOT mean being suicidal, but rather resisting the urge to avoid thinking about death or taking worthwhile risks out of fear of death), and the way der Tod is woven into the unraveling of the power of the European royalty and the end of that era feels somewhat similar to the unfolding industrial collapse in this era and our collective refusal to make our lifestyles more conducive to our long term survival as a species.

Even though one is never really allowed to forget what der Tod really is, he looks and acts like a human (albeit a highly intrusive and possibly unhinged one), and although a lot of this is expressed in how purposeful his actions seem and how ominously they line up with the mental processes of the living, the way he's dressed like he gives a shit (as opposed to the rags or simple cloak of your usual grim reaper type) certainly adds to the familiarity while at the same time setting him apart from the cast by having him always wear mostly black or all white.

Although they make him stand out, der Tod is not the only character to wear monochromatic costumes. Luigi Lucheni also has a tendency toward mostly-black costumes, and Elisabeth herself tends to wear a lot of white (or, later, all black.) These commonalities tie the three characters together nicely (although Elisabeth's outfits are usually based off the clothes the real Elisabeth wore in the existing paintings and photographs of her.)

Being an empress (who was also just generally obsessed with maintaining her appearance), it's to be expected that Sisi also looks dazzling. This portrait (can't find any good pictures of the black costume from the musical) makes me want to develop a kuro-lolita outfit based on her mourning clothes (probably involving a super long, voluminous brown wig.)

Oh look it's January.

So it's a bit late for New Years' resolutions, and New Years' resolutions are kind of crap anyway (already broke mine by forgetting to take my B12 pills in the evening =D). But I do want to get more vigilant about this sort of thing. So here are some changes I hope to make in the coming year:

I will not feel guilty about where my clothing came from.

This relates to the materials themselves (no animal products), the circumstances under which the things were produced (no supporting companies that source from factories where people are probably working in unsafe conditions), and who gets my money (so in addition to Walmart, pretty much anywhere else that sells clothing new and doesn't meet my standards. I will try to avoid Goodwill and the Salvation Army* but continue to go there before looking for newly-made things.) I will continue to buy as much used as possible (regardless of where the garments were originally made because finite money/time to research -__-;), and when it's too impractical to buy used I will buy from smaller companies that manufacture their goods within countries that have decent labor laws--preferably companies that use recycled material as well. And in the rare instance when I cannot work within these standards and avoid spending more than I can afford or being wasteful, I will not mentally beat myself up over it.

My wardrobe will be cohesive and distinct.

Just because I refuse to buy into trends doesn't mean I don't care about style. The opposite, in fact--I care about it so much that I keep posting about it and documenting my outfits and so on DX. I like looking good--and by "good", I mean presenting in a way that results in my repeatedly glancing at any mirrors that present themselves because my outfits are simply that aesthetically pleasing to me (hi, I'm a narcissist =D.) I also want my wardrobe to be distinctive and customized to suit me personally--everything must fit. Black clothing comes into play here. It also has to be practical (this is coming from someone whose definition of practical includes petticoats and platform boots when they don't get in the way, so I guess what I really mean here is it can't hinder me and it will be determined by what I want to do on a given day, not the other way around.) By "cohesive" I mean every piece can be worn with many (if not all) other pieces, with few outliers. By doing this, I hope to keep my wardrobe smaller and have less physical property to worry about. Efficient and effective. I've already started this by hemming my pants (actually I did this a long time ago--still need to get to my t-shirts) and replacing buttons on things that have buttons that don't go with my other things and hope to weed out even more superfluous pieces in the coming year.

*They do a lot of good things from what I hear as well as the things that irritate me (piss-poor wages for some disabled employees and occasional GSRM discrimination, respectively). But that doesn't mean I'm willing to forget the things I disapprove of when there are other secondhand stores whose operators don't pull that shit (to my knowledge, at least -__-).

Guide to Finding Used Books, CDs, and DVDs

Some of you might just get all your books from the library and get all your music and film online, in which case this is probably useless to you even if you do live near me. Although I'm aware coveting material goods I don't need leads to feeding the Monster, I have a weakness for hard copies of things.  Maybe once I've got everything on my list I'll regret pouring so much money into something that takes up so much space. But for now, here's what I do to save money and avoid paying for the manufacture of new things in case it helps anyone.

First, I keep a list of everything I'm looking for (this can help with clothing, too, but sometimes you need more creative freedom there), the main purpose of which is to limit impulse buying. It's also helpful for keeping track of things that have multiple discs or volumes. Just don't fall into the trap that I do where I just sit and look at the list of everything I want but don't have and start going online and figuring out how much it would cost to fill how the gaps when I don't actually have any money to do that with, which is disheartening and probably unhealthy. Don't do it. Hide the list except for when you need it.

When I have money to spend on this kind of thing, I buy things both in person and on websites. Sometimes one is cheaper than the other, but they seem to balance out overall, so it's good to check all the possible sources before you buy things. I like to use Bookfinder.com to find the cheapest price and then double check by searching Abebooks, eBay, Amazon, and Better World Books (there's also Powell's Books and Alibris, but I haven't dealt much with them personally.) If what I want isn't surprisingly cheap online (or just cheaper than half the retail price once you factor shipping charges in), I check brick-and-mortar stores first. Here's a list pertinent to the Twin Cities area:

Friends of the Hennepin County Library Bookstore (Downtown Minneapolis)--probably the cheapest option out of all of these, though a lot of the books will be in rough shape since they were withdrawn from the library after circulating for a while and the selection can be pretty hit-or-miss. Graphic novels can be found here in surprising abundance (although their last sale cleaned them out pretty thoroughly. But there are still some lurking around). They also have CDs, DVDs, and audiobooks in limited numbers. Manga is 75¢ a volume and graphic novels are $2.00 each. Prices of novels vary but usually aren't more than two or three dollars each. Sometimes they have massive sales where the prices get gradually lower over a week until you can take home a grocery bag full of books for a dollar. 

Half Price Books (varying locations)--carries a pretty nice selection of comics (graphic novels and single issues), books in general, and CDs on average. Also lots of DVDs and some cassettes and vinyl. My favorite location is the one in St. Paul, but St. Louis Park and Roseville are also nice. You can also sell media here (they offer you cash which you can then choose to spend there but it won't magically be worth more like at some stores.) If you're looking for specific books, calling ahead at the various locations and asking the staff to see if they have what you're looking for can be very helpful.

Magers and Quinn (Uptown)--Sells used and new books. Has a healthy-sized comic section and also some really nifty decorative hardback books and postcards. They also buy books and offer you a higher dollar amount in store credit than in cash.

Cheapo Records (Uptown, St.Paul)--Sells CDs, vinyl, cassettes, and DVDs. Very nice selection. The Uptown location also has a used book store with a small graphic novel section in its basement. Pricing is inconsistent (for example, I once found two used copies of the Crow soundtrack on CD--one was $6.95, one was $2.95), so check the new arrivals section and the section for the artist you're looking for before making purchases. There is also a location in Blaine, but I haven't been there yet.

The Electric Fetus (South Minneapolis)--Sells used and new DVDs, CDs, and vinyl. Also some magazines and a bunch of novelty items and accessories. If you don't expect to find it anywhere check here--they also have a large selection and sometimes you will be surprised by what turns up. Sometimes they have in-store concerts. You can also buy concert tickets for other venues here. There are also stores in St. Cloud and Duluth that I haven't been to.

Big Brain Comics (Downtown Minneapolis)--Mostly new merchandise, but they also have used graphic novels in the back.

The Source (Roseville)--Lots of old single issues of comics, no used graphic novels to my knowledge (although their new selection is pretty awesome.) They have 20% off sales on everything in the store for Black Friday, the Winter Jubilee (which is always in December on a Saturday before Christmas), plus if you see them at a convention they have coupons for 20% off anything in the store if you go the same weekend as the con.

FallCon and SpringCon (Minnesota State Fair Grounds)--they're run by the same people and each one only happens once a year. Admission is around ten dollars and the discounts you can find (not to mention the sheer variety) can be pretty incredible. I especially like Half Price Books because they reduce the cost of their manga (once they had boxes full of manga for 25¢ per volume--usually the cost is more like two to four dollars per volume, though) and sell a lot of bundles of books from the same series (I once bought all of Chobits at once from them, for example). Anyway, the amount of money you can save here in discounts is usually enough to cover the cost of admission. Plus you get people running around in costumes. AND you can get a coupon from the Source and check there afterward, too.

Once I've checked as many of the above as I can, I go back online and figure out what combination of books on my list is cheapest from which stores (keeping shipping in mind, especially when you can combine shipping costs like on Abebooks and sometimes eBay. Amazon no longer lets you combine shipping costs for used merchandise from the same seller, which is annoying as hell. Better World Books doesn't charge shipping and their profits go to good causes so they're my favorites.)

Twin Cities' Secondhand Clothes Shopping Guide

Deprive the Monster! Buy used! Here's something to help if you're in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis/St. Paul) area =D.

Thrift Stores:

Earth Exchange (Maple Grove)--This is a small business in Maple Grove. I don't know that they support any charities directly, but the staff are nice and they've got a vegan/environmentalist bent to them, so it's still a cool place. They're great for furniture as well as clothes.

Arc's Value Village (Brooklyn Center)--There's more than one location, but Brooklyn Center is my favorite. I've found some pretty awesome garments and accessories there, and they are a charity that does good work from what I've heard.

Goodwill (Champlin and other locations)--Has a nice selection of clothing, but at the same time this chain has exhibited a tendency to use some of their employees' disabilities as an excuse to pay them ridiculously low wages. But if you're looking for nice clothes and haven't found what you're looking for at the other thrift stores in the area, you might find what you need here.

Salvation Army (downtown Minneapolis and other locations)--I also have reservations about the Salvation Army because even if their overall policy is to not discriminate against queer and trans* people, some of the people who work for them still do it. Nonetheless, they do actually use a lot of the money they get to help people in need from what I hear. The downtown location is pretty huge, at any rate, so if you don't share my reservations by all means check it out.

Steeple People (South Minneapolis)--This one is the smallest of the thrift stores I'm mentioning here, but I've found some good stuff there and their stock rotates pretty quickly, so I highly recommend it. (Also, the church that runs it is a Reconciling Congregation.)

Secondhand Clothing:

Ragstock (various locations)--There are a bunch of locations. None of them are all that great in my experience and some of them focus on the cheap new shit more than the "recycled" goods, but sometimes you find good stuff. They're pretty much the only place I know of here that has secondhand Japanese traditional wear on a regular basis (although a lot of it's in crappy shape, so it's also kind of horrifying to dig through sometimes.) Their recycled goods tend to be cheaper than the secondhand clothes at the other stores I'm mentioning, but they can also be in kind of gross condition. You get what you pay for, I guess. My favorite locations are Uptown and Golden Valley. I have very fond memories of the Warehouse location near downtown Minneapolis, but that's been cleared out to make room for a Metro Transit garage since then. Makes for a lovely nostalgic patina over all my memories of it since it wasn't there long enough for teenage-me to get tired of it.

My Sister's Closet (Uptown)--A consignment store. Pretty much only sells clothes made with women in mind. Especially caters to older women and yuppies. Still has some good stuff, though, including some vintage clothes. They also have a nice selection of shoes. There's a location in St. Paul, too, but I haven't been there.

Everyday People (St. Paul)--Caters to people of either sex. Vaguely alternative, or at least seems to be aimed at people in their teens, twenties, and thirties. Carries both vintage and more recent clothes. They have a pretty well-curated selection.

Buffalo Exchange (South Minneapolis)--I only went here once and wasn't all that impressed. They mostly carry newer clothes aimed at younger people, and the prices felt a touch high for my taste. Still probably cheaper than buying new. I was only there once, so take what I say about this place with a grain of salt. You might find something awesome there--they've got a lot of stock to look through.

Vintage:

Via's Vintage (South Minneapolis)--Great source of vintage formal wear, especially if you're looking for a dress (although there's some nifty mens' formal wear as well.) They also carry petticoats, including the voluminous Malco Modes 582 that works great with lolita (or so I hear--I prefer the A-line 580, which they don't carry. Also known as Vivcore's fluffy petticoat.) Probably has some loliable accessories and blouses if you're going for a classic look with a vintage touch.

Blacklist Vintage (South Minneapolis)--Has a very well-curated variety of vintage clothes. Not as expensive/formal as Via's, either. Carries a pretty wide variety of garments and accessories.

B-squad Vintage (South Minneapolis)--In about the same price range as Blacklist Vintage, perhaps a little bit less expensive in some cases. Has some really interesting, distinctive pieces. My floral suitcase/briefcase is from there, and it was only eight dollars (although the handle broke and that cost eighteen dollars to replace, but I consider that to be my fault since I was stuffing it with textbooks and my laptop four days a week. It was good quality for what it was meant to be used for.)

Tatters (South Minneapolis)--Has a lot of stock, but it tends to fall into hippie/military/western categories. They have a lot of sunglasses, too (I think they were mostly new, but there may or may not have been some vintage in there, too. It's been awhile.)

Rewind Vintage (North Minneapolis)--I've also only been here once, but I was particularly impressed with their collection of accessories. They also have a store in South Minneapolis that I haven't checked yet.

The Monster

I keep ranting about various problems with industrial society, except industrial society sounds pedantic if I rant about it more than... oh, once. (Oops?) It's a very sterile and academic phrase, besides. Henceforth it shall be known as the Monster (capitalized to distinguish it from smaller cuter monsters that probably don't cause enough trouble to even deserve to be associated closely with the Monster. Oh well. Language is an imperfect tool.)

Many people seem to like to think of the Monster in segments. Perhaps it's less overwhelming that way. But the more I look into it the more it looks like one big problem rather than a thousand not-quite-as-large ones. The kyriarchy, the obscenely uneven distribution of wealth (resulting largely from the kyriarchy as far as I can tell but seen as a problem by itself), and the destruction of the environment we and many other species need in order to survive (not to mention other factors that are probably slipping my mind at the moment) are all related, so they are all part of the Monster. The Monster separates us from each other and our environment by distracting us with shiny products, dividing people over petty differences, and encouraging destructive behavior through tradition and short-term rewards. As a result, we fill our world with unnecessary cruelty and will, one way or another, ultimately destroy ourselves as a species (taking many other species with us.)

Usually if a monster is troublesome enough someone (probably multiple someones) slays it, but as far as I can tell, it would take a pretty extensive revolution to slay this Monster. I prefer to avoid violent conflict whenever possible, so for the time being I am decidely not in favor of slaying the Monster, because it is too big to go down without causing fuckloads of bloodshed and destruction regardless of how it eventually dies.

And formidable as the Monster is, I expect it to die soon (most likely within my lifetime) because the way it lives is simply unsustainable. This planet does not have the physical resources for the Monster to exist indefinitely. But even so, there are better and worse ways to kill this thing. Considering how much environmental damage the thing's doing and how long that damage will last, waiting for it to waste away might be as destructive as slaying it.

My favorite approach for now is attempting to starve the monster by washing my hands of it as much as is practical. I'd like to say possible, but to be completely honest, just because I could try and become a hermit and live completely off the land somewhere (or, probably more within the realm of possibility, a squatting freegan) doesn't mean I'm willing to. Yet. Like most of us, I'm also rather attached to fossil fuels, although I try to reduce my use by taking public transit when I can. However, there are some things within my control--I do my best to buy organic, fair trade, local, and secondhand (when applicable) as much as I can, and reduce my spending overall (because the industrial economy is a big part of the Monster, after all. Spending any money at all feeds it.) I've also taken the step of avoiding any products made by or with the bodies of animals and continue striving to unlearn the Monster's teachings.

In addition to the reasons mentioned in the first post, the term Monster also implies that the problem is alive (as you may have noticed.) This is also important, because if you're able to read this you're part of the Monster. Maybe we'll break free of it someday, but for now, the Monster acts through all of us just living our lives. But, hey, even if there's little we can do to control it, we can at least come up with cheerier names for it.